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05-02-2006 04:13 AM
-----Any type of social situation is based around decisions being made. Ideas are thrown around a group of people, whether they are sitting on a tailgate or in a living room, until one person steps up and makes the call for everyone else. This “alpha male” of the group contains many characteristics that are obtained merely by instinct, or habit. If he likes to bowl, he will obviously choose bowling and force the others to enjoy it or go home. I say male just because females lack the mental capacity to make logical decisions of any sort without throwing in truck loads of emotional radiation that pollutes their very limited supply of brain-water. An apology can be written in full for that last chauvinist statement, but I deem it necessary to carry on with my in-depth guide of controlling the minds of others in all types of different situations. The ability to read and analyze the thoughts of others, and then regurgitate back into their open mouths the very lump they have an appetite for, requires being able to read, process, and react to their every action.
-----When learning to read a person, it helps to be in the presence of people you have grown to be comfortable with. This gives a good foundation to build your advances on, rather than falling straight into the quicksand that is rejection when meeting new people. Reading is most commonly associated with books (or essays, for that matter), so it is only natural to look at people as books themselves. Let their body be the title, their posture be the cover, and the content they throw out will fill the pages. Always judge a book by its cover. Why would a good book be hiding in an awful cover? It only makes sense that a nicely rounded book would keep a dust-free cover on it. The muscles around the eyes and mouth most show their approval or disapproval of a thought or idea. Pay the most attention to these areas. Most body language is universal, so use your own posture to jump on a pedestal and take control. Read them like a book.
-----Processing the information gathered from your extensive research should take place as fast as possible. Take too long, and your window of opportunity, or, alpha-tunity, rather, will close in your face. Always agree with those who you want to be spending time with. Why agree with Oscar Meyer when Kraft is where its really at? You will be dealt the cards you hide up your sleeve, so remember that. A bad time can always be turned into a good time with a little personality and a lot of tall tales, so Kenzie's grandmother's bris might not be so bad if she's willing to catch a movie afterwards (and film, if you really want something to show your friends and coworkers.) Think about what you want to do, and how you can turn their ideas into that. Manipulation is the tool of the devil, but he always seems to win out come Friday night in Merkel, Texas. There's always Sunday morning, so feel free to influence those around you to do your deeds.
-----To put the icing on the cake, it is detrimental to your super-secret covert mission of mind control to be able to throw all of your ingredients in the oven, and make sure the cake doesn't stick to the toothpick. Delivery is key. Too early, and you've lost your presentation. Too late, and you've got cold pizza that the customer doesn't have to pay for. A calm, collected, blood-sucking speaker is always going to beat out four-foot-two, buck-toothed jungle-bunny Franklin in a decision-making duel. Stay on top of your game, and make sure to feed into the desires of those whose side you are taking.
-----Controlling situations is nothing more than taking matters into your own hands. Evaluate your targets, plan out your attack, and deliver your blows swiftly and accurately. Always keep your eye on the ball, your hands on her hips, the spoon in their mouths, and the game in your court, and life will be full of mind-controlling adventures too fun to remember, too great to tell your friends, and too obscene to tell your grandchildren.
---------By: Ricky Barnes, Summer of 2005
-----Any type of social situation is based around decisions being made. Ideas are thrown around a group of people, whether they are sitting on a tailgate or in a living room, until one person steps up and makes the call for everyone else. This “alpha male” of the group contains many characteristics that are obtained merely by instinct, or habit. If he likes to bowl, he will obviously choose bowling and force the others to enjoy it or go home. I say male just because females lack the mental capacity to make logical decisions of any sort without throwing in truck loads of emotional radiation that pollutes their very limited supply of brain-water. An apology can be written in full for that last chauvinist statement, but I deem it necessary to carry on with my in-depth guide of controlling the minds of others in all types of different situations. The ability to read and analyze the thoughts of others, and then regurgitate back into their open mouths the very lump they have an appetite for, requires being able to read, process, and react to their every action.
-----When learning to read a person, it helps to be in the presence of people you have grown to be comfortable with. This gives a good foundation to build your advances on, rather than falling straight into the quicksand that is rejection when meeting new people. Reading is most commonly associated with books (or essays, for that matter), so it is only natural to look at people as books themselves. Let their body be the title, their posture be the cover, and the content they throw out will fill the pages. Always judge a book by its cover. Why would a good book be hiding in an awful cover? It only makes sense that a nicely rounded book would keep a dust-free cover on it. The muscles around the eyes and mouth most show their approval or disapproval of a thought or idea. Pay the most attention to these areas. Most body language is universal, so use your own posture to jump on a pedestal and take control. Read them like a book.
-----Processing the information gathered from your extensive research should take place as fast as possible. Take too long, and your window of opportunity, or, alpha-tunity, rather, will close in your face. Always agree with those who you want to be spending time with. Why agree with Oscar Meyer when Kraft is where its really at? You will be dealt the cards you hide up your sleeve, so remember that. A bad time can always be turned into a good time with a little personality and a lot of tall tales, so Kenzie's grandmother's bris might not be so bad if she's willing to catch a movie afterwards (and film, if you really want something to show your friends and coworkers.) Think about what you want to do, and how you can turn their ideas into that. Manipulation is the tool of the devil, but he always seems to win out come Friday night in Merkel, Texas. There's always Sunday morning, so feel free to influence those around you to do your deeds.
-----To put the icing on the cake, it is detrimental to your super-secret covert mission of mind control to be able to throw all of your ingredients in the oven, and make sure the cake doesn't stick to the toothpick. Delivery is key. Too early, and you've lost your presentation. Too late, and you've got cold pizza that the customer doesn't have to pay for. A calm, collected, blood-sucking speaker is always going to beat out four-foot-two, buck-toothed jungle-bunny Franklin in a decision-making duel. Stay on top of your game, and make sure to feed into the desires of those whose side you are taking.
-----Controlling situations is nothing more than taking matters into your own hands. Evaluate your targets, plan out your attack, and deliver your blows swiftly and accurately. Always keep your eye on the ball, your hands on her hips, the spoon in their mouths, and the game in your court, and life will be full of mind-controlling adventures too fun to remember, too great to tell your friends, and too obscene to tell your grandchildren.
---------By: Ricky Barnes, Summer of 2005
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05-02-2006 04:11 AM
The Land of Rick and its Living Interior
-----From the moment I leave the boundaries of my own prison stuck in the back corner of my home, I immediately long to be back within my own domain. The atmosphere that my belongings provide allow me to relax and regroup like no other place in the world could possibly do. I am able to sit and stare at my past, present, and then attempt to lay out my near future based on how current situations are taking place. Stepping into my room is no different than stepping directly into my brain, seeping through the piles of paper and sorting the dirty laundry built up over a long day's trials. My surroundings are the ultimate antidote for sadness, anger, stress, and all other hardships that I face in my teenage years.
-----My room consists of almost five items of significance: bed, desk, chest-of-drawers, bookshelf, and closet. The tiny fourteen by sixteen foot room that holds all of these items is more crowded than Del Rio on the fifth of May. These large pieces of furniture build a structure to my room just as they would to any other room. Their purposes are no different here than they would be in any other – sleep, hold the computer, socks and underwear, books, and hanging clothes. However, the thousands of knick-knacks and useless keepsakes are what make up my life, past and present. Small pieces of memory fill every niche in the furniture, and a story lies behind everything except the three boxes Mom keeps in my room for storage.
-----As I glance around the room certain items catch my stare and seem to return the same. Mount Rushmore says good evening, Bambi still stares at the ground in his brass stance, and my pillow is still calling for more sweet dreams. The computer speakers still fill the air with the numbing sounds of the Black Crowes and Oasis. Oddly enough I am able to find some way to relate to every word they have to say, and can name a time and place if I try hard enough. “And all the roads we have to walk are winding, and all the lights that lead us there are blinding.” Relaxation is my dominant reason for holing up in my room for hours upon hours. A chance to stare at pictures, listen to music, and be carried away by my magic pillow makes me grimace at the thought of staying anywhere but my own wood-planked castle. As far from a mansion as possible while still being a house, I have never been so happy to be home but so sad to have company. My small amount of material possessions and large amount of un-vacuumed dirt cause me to shy away from inviting friends to my own Valley of Ashes, as Fitzgerald would put it.
-----The sadness that revolves around my belongings is a feeling of emptiness and loneliness. These near-sacred artifacts remind me of what is lost, and what is gained from loss. Old pictures, the wooden flower that Granny gave me her last night in the hospital, the red stool that Paw-Paw built with his bare hands for my second birthday, the t-shirt I was wearing the night before a divorce – all items I hold just as precious as my arsenal of high-powered rifles and the thousands of dollars surrounding them. Gains cannot be counted until losses are tallied, and only then can I move forward. An empty hole leaves life looking like the roads of Merkel – half dirt, half pothole. So long as all bad memories are accounted for and taken care of, I am able to continue with happy thoughts and good memories provided by those who are in my past.
-----Every person should enjoy the opportunity to be who they are wherever they want to be. I find myself best when I am alone, holed up in my own little universe, left to complain about being bored with no real intention of leaving the safety of maroon, plaid, and overfilled laundry hampers. Whether some see it as trash, treasure, laziness or creativity, I am able to enjoy every second I spend in my own confines built off of years of travel, forgetfulness, thievery, good times and broken hearts. People are not made by the places they go and the people they meet, but by the places they hide and the things that they surround themselves when no one is watching.
-------------------By: Ricky Barnes, Summer of 2005
The Land of Rick and its Living Interior
-----From the moment I leave the boundaries of my own prison stuck in the back corner of my home, I immediately long to be back within my own domain. The atmosphere that my belongings provide allow me to relax and regroup like no other place in the world could possibly do. I am able to sit and stare at my past, present, and then attempt to lay out my near future based on how current situations are taking place. Stepping into my room is no different than stepping directly into my brain, seeping through the piles of paper and sorting the dirty laundry built up over a long day's trials. My surroundings are the ultimate antidote for sadness, anger, stress, and all other hardships that I face in my teenage years.
-----My room consists of almost five items of significance: bed, desk, chest-of-drawers, bookshelf, and closet. The tiny fourteen by sixteen foot room that holds all of these items is more crowded than Del Rio on the fifth of May. These large pieces of furniture build a structure to my room just as they would to any other room. Their purposes are no different here than they would be in any other – sleep, hold the computer, socks and underwear, books, and hanging clothes. However, the thousands of knick-knacks and useless keepsakes are what make up my life, past and present. Small pieces of memory fill every niche in the furniture, and a story lies behind everything except the three boxes Mom keeps in my room for storage.
-----As I glance around the room certain items catch my stare and seem to return the same. Mount Rushmore says good evening, Bambi still stares at the ground in his brass stance, and my pillow is still calling for more sweet dreams. The computer speakers still fill the air with the numbing sounds of the Black Crowes and Oasis. Oddly enough I am able to find some way to relate to every word they have to say, and can name a time and place if I try hard enough. “And all the roads we have to walk are winding, and all the lights that lead us there are blinding.” Relaxation is my dominant reason for holing up in my room for hours upon hours. A chance to stare at pictures, listen to music, and be carried away by my magic pillow makes me grimace at the thought of staying anywhere but my own wood-planked castle. As far from a mansion as possible while still being a house, I have never been so happy to be home but so sad to have company. My small amount of material possessions and large amount of un-vacuumed dirt cause me to shy away from inviting friends to my own Valley of Ashes, as Fitzgerald would put it.
-----The sadness that revolves around my belongings is a feeling of emptiness and loneliness. These near-sacred artifacts remind me of what is lost, and what is gained from loss. Old pictures, the wooden flower that Granny gave me her last night in the hospital, the red stool that Paw-Paw built with his bare hands for my second birthday, the t-shirt I was wearing the night before a divorce – all items I hold just as precious as my arsenal of high-powered rifles and the thousands of dollars surrounding them. Gains cannot be counted until losses are tallied, and only then can I move forward. An empty hole leaves life looking like the roads of Merkel – half dirt, half pothole. So long as all bad memories are accounted for and taken care of, I am able to continue with happy thoughts and good memories provided by those who are in my past.
-----Every person should enjoy the opportunity to be who they are wherever they want to be. I find myself best when I am alone, holed up in my own little universe, left to complain about being bored with no real intention of leaving the safety of maroon, plaid, and overfilled laundry hampers. Whether some see it as trash, treasure, laziness or creativity, I am able to enjoy every second I spend in my own confines built off of years of travel, forgetfulness, thievery, good times and broken hearts. People are not made by the places they go and the people they meet, but by the places they hide and the things that they surround themselves when no one is watching.
-------------------By: Ricky Barnes, Summer of 2005
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